Today (20 March) is the International Day of Happiness. Established by the United Nations General Assembly in 2012, the aim of the day is “to help people around the world realise the importance of happiness within their lives”.
I am not an advocate for sugar-sweet happiness-washing or ‘toxic’ positivity (been there, done that!), but I do believe that communication plays a meaningful role in promoting happiness for ourselves and others.
We need to make space for all the emotions we feel, but we can choose how we talk to ourselves and others. In my experience, this has a profound impact on how we feel.
Lessons from eight decades of ongoing research
Harvard Psychiatry Professor Robert Waldinger, who authored the bestselling book The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness and currently oversees the Harvard study, says the standout finding is that social connections are one of the most important determinants of happiness and health.
“Human connection is our superpower. Good relationships help us get through life’s inevitable challenges, and they keep us happier and healthier.” – Professor Robert Waldinger
The study – which has been going since 1938(!) and now includes family members of its original cohort of 725 participants, as well as the remaining original group – reveals that relationships in all forms, from friendships, romantic partnerships and families to coworkers, sports teammates, book club members, church and study groups all contribute to a happier, healthier life.
Professor Waldinger, who is also a trained psychoanalyst and Zen priest, says it’s never too late to strengthen the relationships you have, and never too late to build new ones – but you do need to actively work on your ‘social fitness’:
“Physical fitness is an ongoing practice: I don’t go to the gym today and then come home and say, “Good. I’m done. I don’t ever have to do that again.” The same is true with relationships.
“What we see when we follow these lives over decades is that perfectly good friendships wither away from neglect. What we ask people to think about is how to be active, even in small ways every day or week, to nurture those relationships and keep them alive,” says Professor Waldinger.
Effective, active communication is central to nurturing social relationships. I truly believe that improving our communication skills can transform our professional and personal lives and ultimately bring more peace, kindness and empathy to our relationships, and the world.
What will you do today?
In honour of International Day of Happiness, I’m going to focus on two things today: the ripple effect of my communication, and a friendship that I haven’t given enough attention to recently. I’ll try to bring a little more kindness and empathy to all my interactions throughout the day, and I’m going to phone a good friend I haven’t spoken to in a while.
How about you?
A little note on Substack and its features
Many of my readers are new to this platform so I thought I’d give a very brief overview of some of the benefits beyond my newsletter 😊
Substack is a platform that was designed for writers. It includes a home page that’s well laid out (sort of like a cross between a blog and a digital magazine), newsletter functionality and interactive features like Notes (which is kind of like X/Twitter within the platform) and Chat, where writers and readers share thoughts and interact.
The platform has attracted some amazing authors and subject matter experts on every topic imaginable, and there’s an app that’s user-friendly and helpful if you subscribe to more than one newsletter on the platform.