Here’s seven things that the most inspiring and effective communicators do consistently, based on my observations over the past 20+ years working in (and being a student of) the industry.
It’s far from exhaustive; I could easily list 70! I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section – what do you consider a key habit of highly effective communicators?
*For the purposes of this post, when I say ‘audience’, I mean any listener / reader / consumer of your communication (eg. a friend, peers, your team at work or a global cohort of investors).
1. They think about what’s important to their audience, rather than just what they want to say.
Effective communication is not simply regurgitating all your knowledge about a topic, or saying what you think is important or what you think your audience should hear.
Approaching any communication with the audience’s needs, wants and motivators in mind is the first step to gaining connection and effectively communicating a message.
As a very wise friend often says: “You have not communicated effectively unless your audience can replay the message back to you as you intended it.”
*Action to consider this week: On two occasions, consciously consider your audience before you speak / email / text. What’s important to them? What do they really want or need to know? Is there irrelevant info that you can delete to simplify the message?
2. They listen (really listen).
True listening is a rare skill. I’ll cover this more in future posts, but in short – listening does not involve interjecting with your experience of a similar event, or storytelling, or diverting.
It’s giving people the time and space to speak their truth without muddying it with yours.
*Action to consider this week: On two occasions, try to really listen, without speaking, until your conversation partner has finished. This is often hardest with the people we’re closest to!
3. They familiarise rather than memorise.
This is relevant for anyone giving presentations or speeches.
While occasionally reading is appropriate, it’s almost always best to familiarise yourself with your content then go with the flow, rather than memorising or reading.
Don’t worry if you forget something. Make note of the key points and fill the rest of the space with YOU – your words, your style, and your unique way of connecting with your audience.
This was my mistake in the flop I wrote about last week. By over-rehearsing I essentially memorised a script, which stifled the opportunity to immerse myself in the moment and successfully connect with my audience.
*Try this for your next speaking or presentation opportunity.
4. They give and receive feedback with grace.
Effective communicators are confident enough to give feedback, and humble enough to receive it graciously – even when it’s uncomfortable.
They’re also very considered when giving feedback, keeping growth as the motivator (they never try to bring someone down with feedback).
And they take time to consider and review feedback they receive, again with growth in mind.
*Action to consider this week: If you receive feedback, try accepting it gratefully. If it’s praise, don’t deflect it or reject it!
If it’s “constructive” and you feel confronted or triggered, give yourself time to reflect before responding if you feel a response is required (*use your discretion and personal boundaries here; feedback should never be communicated rudely or inappropriately).
In my experience, when people practice receiving feedback, they get better at giving it.
5. They pause and reflect before hitting go.
Highly effective communicators are intentional.
They think before they speak and review their writing before they send, making sure their chosen words align with the intended message. And if they slip up, they correct the course quickly (apologise, clarify, add detail or whatever may be required for their audience to understand the message as it was intended).
*Action to consider this week: Pause and reflect! Review an email or text before sending to make sure it’s error-free and communicates the message you want it to (taking into account Point 1!).
6. They honour their word.
This is even more difficult than listening well. The age of busy-ness and back-to-back meetings, combined with the ease of texting to say we’re running 15 minutes late, or can no longer make it, or don’t feel like it, or the kids are sick, makes for a dearth of accountability in keeping our word.
I get it, stuff happens. But it’s become frighteningly convenient to not honour our word because things ‘pop up’ and it’s so easy and normal to send a text with our updated plans. I do it regularly.
For many of us, this also plays out in the words we promise ourselves. How many times do we say we’ll do X but end up doing Y, because we feel like it?
This may not seem directly related to communication. But your words have more power when people trust that you’ll follow through, and there’s a substantial compound effect.
*Action to consider this week: There’s a lot of space to play here depending on where you’re at and how important this is to you (or where you want to get to).
You could try following through on your word ruthlessly for an hour, a day, a week – choose something that feels slightly uncomfortable but not eons away from where you’re at. Keeping commitments to yourself is a good place to start. Personally, I’m committing to a walk every day this week, even if it’s raining, or cold, or dark, or I don’t feel like it.
7. They project kindness, empathy and humility into the world through their communication.
Essentially, they use their words for good most of the time. They actively steer away from gossip, lies, blame and complaints.
They are accountable with their communication, and they have the confidence to speak truth with kindness and empathy.
*Action to try this week: Be 10 per cent kinder and more empathetic in 10 per cent of your interactions (including with yourself!). I promise only good things will come of it.
What would you add? Please share your thoughts, questions or experience below.
And as always, thank you for being here,
Larissa
Love these action steps. I will implement one next week, thank you!
Another cracking read, Larissa. After a somewhat clunky week, both personally and professionally, I'm going to start at number 7 and work my way up.